"Whatever I gotta be,
I'll be for You."
--Toby Mac
Or. . .I could curl up and die.
So that's over-dramatic, but giving up comes to mind as a pretty strong option right now.
Why try when it is (ok, "seems") impossible?
I just finished telling the people in my Home Fellowship how I've been so thankful for God's influence in my transition up to U of I and how strongly I've felt (all along the way) that this is where I'm supposed to be (location, major, church).
Well if that's the case, then an SLP graduate student is what "I gotta be" and I want to be that for God's glory, however that looks. I heard the above Toby Mac song on the way home from my project meeting and though I'm taking these lines out of context, they hit me as relating to the above and I really contemplated that and was quite contented.
Then I got home and checked my email.
But. . . but. . . Dangit.
It's too bad that my response to being overwhelmed is almost always irrevocably to meltdown and then mentally check-out. It doesn't help to tell my brain/emotions that I don't have time for that.
I guess to give this post some sort of relevance to you, the reader (and justify writing it in the first place since I guarantee you I'll second-guess making this public), I could really use some prayer to get me through these next 2.5 weeks. I hate asking for prayer about academics b/c it just seems to me like there are more important things to be praying about, but whether I like it or not, academics have forced their way into my life on a larger scale than I ever would have wanted.
2 comments:
I hate asking for prayer about academics b/c it just seems to me like there are more important things to be praying about
We call this one of two things:
1) A false sense of what the Lord cares about and doesn't care about, or,
2) Pride! My academic abilities are not a gift from God so why would I pray about them? :)
Anyway, I will definitely keep you in my prayers through the rest of the semester.
(Note: sure I understand that there are perhaps more severe circumstances that need prayer, but more important and less important are still both important)
Oh, and be sure to pray for me that I continue to not be lazy about prayer myself, as I have been for a long time now. These past couple of days have been very graced and fantastic.
Good points, Josh.
The reason I always second guess talking a lot about or asking for prayer about school goes a bit deeper than the reason that was easiest to type up in a post where it wasn't the main point. But your two things got me thinking and you're right.
It's just a backlash for me of seeing too many people who made academics TOO high of a priority (consistently ahead of God and the needs of people), but I tend to swing too far in the other direction as far as the importance I place on it.
And will do about that last paragraph--or at least try awful hard to. . . being consistent in prayer about a specific thing is not one of my strong suits at the moment. But the fact that I just admitted that in a semi-public forum will probably actually help remind me to stay diligent in it.
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